{last night they understood}

Last night my children understood… We were sitting at the table eating dinner and talking about babies.  Somehow the conversation had me casually answering a question mentioning that I was adopted (something I thought would go over their heads since we’ve mentioned it before in front of the kids).  Tyler and Brielle froze, their eyes popped out of their heads and their jaws dropped. ‘You’re adopted’ they both barely got out.  It wasn’t even a question, it was a realization.  They were in shock.  Oh my gosh, they can’t get it?  They won’t get it?  Do they get it?  My heart was racing confused, surprised and not prepared for their reaction.

Me: ‘Do you know what being adopted means?’.

Brielle: ‘ Yes, it means your mom didn’t want you’.

Tyler piped in ‘um yeah, they left you – right?’.

I couldn’t help but giggle.  I wondered how they knew that.  So I asked.

‘On Annie, she was left too’  they answered.

Ah-ha – that’s right, we watched the movie ‘Annie’ about a month ago and we talked about Annie’s biological parents and why she was in an orphanage.

Brielle thought for a minute and said, ‘who adopted you?’

Then Tyler asked, ‘Did you have a name before you were adopted?’

Me:  ‘No, no name’.

Tyler: ‘Then what did your mom call you when you were in her tummy?  Baby?  Honey Buns?’

We all laughed at that.  Many more questions were asked and answered.  I’m so surprised they understood and were so interested.  They wanted to know everything.  I gave them all the answers I knew and we pondered the ones I didn’t know.  I explained that my birth mom loved me so much that she wanted a better life for me and gave me up.   That it was extremely self-less and took tremendous strength.  The questions and answers went on.

Then Brielle later said with persuasion,  ‘ Mommy, I think I was adopted’.

Me: Why?

Brielle: ‘Because I don’t remember being born and being in your tummy’.  ‘Yeah’, she sighed ‘I think was adopted’.

I assured her she wasn’t, but somehow she’s still convinced she’s adopted.

by Kara

show hide 10 comments

Brittany StoverFebruary 1, 2011 - 12:24 am

kara! I was adopted too, and just this year, my son asked me, “Mom, did you come out of Nonnie’s (my adopted mom’s) tummy? I felt like I was in the same predicament you were in. Yet, I’m not so sure I answered as well as you. I think I said, “No” and we changed the subject. I think because I wasn’t sure how to respond. I know it’ll come back around someday and they’ll ask me again, but this is a great starter. Thanks for sharing. I’m so thankful my birthmom gave me up and did not abort me, like she could have. I have had such an amazing life with such loving parents that raised me. God is so good.

Pamela Van de WalleJanuary 31, 2011 - 1:01 am

Loved your post about adoption. Made me think of how the conversation will go with my kids in the future- now August is the only one not adopted- will he feel left out :-) . I’m going to have to have another session with you once August is about a year- maybe we’ll come back out to Arizona again. I can’t wait! Your pictures are like candy!!

Sally SteinJanuary 30, 2011 - 10:08 pm

Thank you for sharing….this touches my heart. As you can imagine, the greatest blessing in my life is my daughter, who was adopted, I finally became a Mommy, and our lives became so much richer and so much more meaningful. I cannot imagine my life without her. I hope you all are doing well…. your work is beautiful.

Stacia ShawJanuary 30, 2011 - 12:51 pm

what a sweet story. Children are so funny and smart.

Love that foot picture!

Kristi S.January 27, 2011 - 9:37 pm

I didn’t know you were adopted. Wow, how sweet your kids understood and could ask you questions. What a special moment you shared with them. Thanks for opening up about your life.

TanyaJanuary 27, 2011 - 7:37 pm

So beautiful! xo

Carrie ScruggsJanuary 27, 2011 - 12:15 pm

Thanks for sharing…. brought tears to my eyes even though I know it was a good conversation and little Brielle thinking she’s adopted because she can’t remember being born…sweet.

rebekah {A Blissful Nest}January 27, 2011 - 12:44 am

First of all Katy- your pictures are STUNNING!! I love your work and want to thankyou for stopping by my little ol blog and leaving a comment. secondly- what an endearing conversation with your children. This is what makes me fall in love with my little girl everyday more and more. Just when I don’t think I can love her anymore she says something that just makes me melt. I love how you captured this so clearly above. Take care and God bless.


jean smithJanuary 27, 2011 - 12:03 am

precious story…i loved it. made me smile when i really needed it :)

sherry bolesJanuary 26, 2011 - 10:11 pm

I know how she feels (lol)…My parents teased me that I was switched at birth because I was so much different than them (personality-wise). It became a regular joke. It didn’t bother me a lot because it made me feel more wanted since I was special! :)

Beautiful image, Kara!

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