Last night my children understood… We were sitting at the table eating dinner and talking about babies. Somehow the conversation had me casually answering a question mentioning that I was adopted (something I thought would go over their heads since we’ve mentioned it before in front of the kids). Tyler and Brielle froze, their eyes popped out of their heads and their jaws dropped. ‘You’re adopted’ they both barely got out. It wasn’t even a question, it was a realization. They were in shock. Oh my gosh, they can’t get it? They won’t get it? Do they get it? My heart was racing confused, surprised and not prepared for their reaction.
Me: ‘Do you know what being adopted means?’.
Brielle: ‘ Yes, it means your mom didn’t want you’.
Tyler piped in ‘um yeah, they left you – right?’.
I couldn’t help but giggle. I wondered how they knew that. So I asked.
‘On Annie, she was left too’ they answered.
Ah-ha – that’s right, we watched the movie ‘Annie’ about a month ago and we talked about Annie’s biological parents and why she was in an orphanage.
Brielle thought for a minute and said, ‘who adopted you?’
Then Tyler asked, ‘Did you have a name before you were adopted?’
Me: ‘No, no name’.
Tyler: ‘Then what did your mom call you when you were in her tummy? Baby? Honey Buns?’
We all laughed at that. Many more questions were asked and answered. I’m so surprised they understood and were so interested. They wanted to know everything. I gave them all the answers I knew and we pondered the ones I didn’t know. I explained that my birth mom loved me so much that she wanted a better life for me and gave me up. That it was extremely self-less and took tremendous strength. The questions and answers went on.
Then Brielle later said with persuasion, ‘ Mommy, I think I was adopted’.
Brielle: ‘Because I don’t remember being born and being in your tummy’. ‘Yeah’, she sighed ‘I think was adopted’.
I assured her she wasn’t, but somehow she’s still convinced she’s adopted.